(We'll drink to that - NOW!)
For a bloke who doesn't drink, I seem to spend a lot of my time in pubs. But did I ever tell you about the time I was in the Yukon, in Canada?
There I was, in the Gateway Lounge, one of two pubs in the stunning town of Haines Junction, on the Alaska Highway. And I had to get out my sketch pad while everyone else got acquainted with Canadian grog. Sketch pad? Yup. Because I'm a Darjeeling boy, accustomed to the sight of majestic mountains. And there, through the windows of the pub, were snowy mountains as far as the eye could see.
I have to admit, the hardest part of the sketch was doing the Budweiser sign backwards. I had barely finished the sketch when a big (and I mean B I G) bloke called Rich ambled over to become my best friend. After we'd had a bit of a yarn, he offered to introduce me to squaw wrestling.
I have this mental picture of being forced to fight him for a woman and I look for a dark corner of the Lounge. But Rich pulls one of his mates into the spotlight. ``Here, we'll show you what squaw wrestling is all about.'' He and his mate lie flat on their backs, their heads pointing in opposite directions.
On the count of three, they both raise their right legs as each contestant tries to pin the other down. No contest. Rich has his mate pinned in a couple of seconds. His mate is a woman called Deb.
We get the distinct impression she is very disappointed with her form.
It is my turn. The hopes and fears of our great nation rest on my shoulders. We line up and I formulate the perfect plan. I'll go for his hamstring. One, two, three. I swing up and even before I can swivel, Rich has me pinned. Time elapsed: about half a second. Deb looks a bit happier now.
I'm sorry I don't have any sketches of the squaw wrestling, but the best excuse I can think of is that I lost my pencils. But that would have been the perfect cue for a Shakespearean twist. You know: ``2B or not 2B - that is the question''.
If you'd like to read my teetotaller's guide to Alaskan pubs, just click on this link Anglo-Indian Portal
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