Loony Limerick Competition #4

It's time for the next instalment of this wacky limerick contest. All you need to do is to think of a last line and leave it in the comments section here. There is a (secret) judge monitoring your entries and waiting to choose the best effort. Extra points will be given for humour and creativity.

• You can enter as many times as you want to
• The competition closes 48 hours after this post is published
• The fifth line must rhyme with "cow" and "how"
• The judge will not be swayed by bribery (I think!)

It wasn't the sow; it wasn't the cow,
The farm was stinking; no one knew how
The farmer blamed aliens whom no one had seen:
"They dumped their crap here, all shiny and green,"

The judge of Loony Limerick Competition #3 was Old Tom Wigley and he chose Akelamalu as the winner with this stirling effort:

Fella with a red suit and bushy beard, said his name was Santa,

Stole a gleaming black-eyed stallion, and rode it at a canter

He declared he was late to deliver the presents,

So he gulped down a dinner of brandy and pheasants

Then was immediately sick on the porch in a planter.

Loony Limerick Competition #3

It's time for the next instalment of this wacky limerick contest. All you need to do is to think of a last line and leave it in the comments section here. There is a (secret) judge monitoring your entries and waiting to choose the best effort. Extra points will be given for humour and creativity.

• You can enter as many times as you want to
• If you have a brilliant afterthought, you can enter again
• The competition closes 48 hours after this post is published
• The fifth line must rhyme with "Santa" and "canter"
• The judge will not be swayed by bribery (I think!).

Go ahead and have fun ....

Fella with a red suit and bushy beard, said his name was Santa,

Stole a gleaming black-eyed stallion, and rode it at a canter

He declared he was late to deliver the presents,

So he gulped down a dinner of brandy and pheasants

The judge of Loony Limerick Competition #2 was Tiffany Norris and she's chosen Bubba's Sis as the winner with this stirling effort ....

She dreamt all her life of an ocean cruise,

Aboard the Queen Mary, with great cabin views,

So when she did marry

Her husband did carry

Her straight to the pier from the pews.

Tiffany also nominated two other efforts for special mentions: Katy Did Not for the line "Mint-flavored Dramamine chews" and Akelamalu for the line "Her over the threshold to tumultuous Yahoos!".

Loony Limerick Competition #2

After the great response to the first limerick contest, I've decided to publish them every Tuesday and Friday morning - which is Monday and Thursday evening for most of my readers.

She dreamt all her life of an ocean cruise,

Aboard the Queen Mary, with great cabin views,

So when she did marry

Her husband did carry

All you need to do is to think of a last line and leave it in the comments section here. There is a (secret) judge monitoring your entries and waiting to choose the best effort. Extra points will be given for humour and creativity.

The rules are simple:

• You can enter as many times as you want to
• If you have a brilliant afterthought, you can enter again
• The competition closes 48 hours after this post is published
• The fifth line must rhyme with "cruise" and "views"
• The judge's decision will not be swayed by bribery (I think!).

Go ahead and have fun ....

Winner Of The Limerick Contest

Old Tom Wigley Has The Last Laugh

Presenting the winner of the inaugural Loony Limerick Competition - please put your hands together for Old Tom Wigley. I can now reveal that the judge for the contest was the eminently readable Canadian blogger Vic Grace.

Thank you for all the great entries, with some really memorable interpretations of the last line. There will be another contest shortly. In the meantime, here is Tom's winning effort:

There was a young fellow from Queens,

Who had really bad breath in his teens.

So he flossed and he brushed,

And his buddies were all crushed,

When he became the new face for Maclean's.

Yeeew Tube

Er, Nurse, Did You Say `Stick 'Em Up?’

Russians visiting a health resort received a rude shock when a nurse used hydrogen peroxide instead of water to give them enemas. It seems that 17 tourists in a Caucasus spa town had to be treated in hospital after the mix-up. Sanatorium sources said the mistake was explained by water and hydrogen peroxide looking the same.

FOOTNOTE: The riddle of the sphincter.

VERSE AND WORSE: Check out the Loony Limerick Competition.

Loony Limerick Competition #1

You Can Have The Last Word (Really)

Finally, here's your chance to be Shakespeare - well, kind of. I've made up this limerick and I want you to provide the last line.

As you know, limericks consist of five lines, with the first and second line rhyming with the fifth; and the third and fourth lines rhyming with each other.

There was a young fellow from Queens,

Who had really bad breath in his teens.

So he flossed and he brushed,

And his buddies were all crushed,

All you need to do is to think of a last line and leave it in the comments section here. There is a (secret) judge monitoring your entries and waiting to choose the best effort. Extra points will be given for humour and creativity.

The rules are simple:

• You can enter as many times as you want to
• If you have a brilliant afterthought, you can enter again
• The competition closes 48 hours after this post is published
• The fifth line must rhyme with "Queens" and "teens"
• The judge's decision will not be swayed by bribery (I think!).

Go ahead and have fun ....