Hello Trolley, Well Hello Trolley

It’s So Nice To Have You Back Where You Belong

A British motorist accused of speeding at 98mph beat the rap after spending £1,200 to prove his 14-year-old car could only reach 85mph. The man convinced magistrates with his scientific approach and said his vehicle was "a glorified Japanese shopping trolley".

FOOTNOTE: Spud-o-meter.

Verse And Worse

Random Wit, Errant Rhyme. Not A Literary Crime

Christopher, robbin', went down with malice
The magistrate told him his theft was callous
He stole the heart of a girl named Alice
And made her ex-boyfriend terribly jallous