Smoke Screen

Wot About Me Visa, Then, Guv?

British landlord Bob Beech is an innovative bloke - even though his plan has, ah, gone up in smoke. To get around this week's ciggie ban, he wanted to turn his bar into an embassy for a remote Caribbean island. He reckoned the Wellington Arms in Southampton would be the only pub in Britain to allow smoking - by becoming the UK consulate for tiny, uninhabited Redonda, which is 35 miles off Antigua. As an embassy, it would be classed as "foreign soil", allowing smokers a haven - as well as VAT-free cheap drinks. But the Foreign Office has knocked his scheme on the head, even though Beech says he has a ``plan B''.

FOOTNOTE: Must be the fag end.