Disparate Housewife

From Hausfrau to House Frown

A housewife has been reported for wasting police time in Germany after dialling 999 more than 100 times in the hope of finding a new husband. The divorcee plagued the emergency line, claiming she couldn't afford dating agencies. Officers finally visited her confiscated the battery from her cellphone.

FOOTNOTE: Date tripper.

Emergency Measures

Yes, Of Course It’s A Life-Threatening Situation

A woman in Manchester dialled 999 because she was furious she could not get through to vote on the TV show Strictly Come Dancing. Others in a string of ridiculous emergency calls included a priest complaining he was not allowed to use a toilet in a W. H. Smith store and a man who said shop staff had put unwanted mushrooms on his pizza.

FOOTNOTE: Ringing endorsement.

Hare-Raising Phone Call

Ear, There And Everywhere

Police in Scotland say a woman dialled 999 to complain that the rabbit she had just bought did not have floppy ears. The caller phoned the emergency number when she discovered the pet's ears did not live up to their description in a newspaper advertisement. Other nuisance calls included two people who dialled 999 after being splashed by cars in wet weather.

FOOTNOTE: Bugged bunny.