The Blair Watch Project

This Ain’t Downing Street, Guv

So you want to live next to Tony and Cherie? Former British PM Tony Blair's new neighbours are miffed - over a plan to give him his own double yellow lines on the street. Blair has already faced complaints over security, a planned roof terrace and solar panels, but now a letter to his Connaught Square neighbours in west London asks for their views on a proposal to ban parking along a nine-metre (that's about 27 feet) stretch of road for anyone except Blair. It means two residents' parking bays outside Blair's house would be set aside for his exclusive use.

FOOTNOTE: Sounds like a line call to me.

Tony Who?

Text Education For Former PM

Tony Blair ain’t the most committed technophile in the country he used to govern. Yes, he has an iPod, but he had to get his daughter to help him use it. Yes, he has an email account – but he’s had it less than a year. Now he has revealed that he’s finally learnt how to send a text message. But he said this weekend that when he sent his first message, the reply that came back was: "Who are you?"

FOOTNOTE: Free little words.

Jocks Trap

Gordon Brown Was Stuck In A Scottish Loo

Before he took Britain's top job, Gordon Brown once locked himself into a toilet in Edinburgh - and had to be freed by Tony Blair. According to Alastair Campbell's diaries: ``Minutes passed and TB was sitting twiddling his thumbs and even wondered if GB had done a runner. Eventually the phone went. TB left it, so then the answering machine kicked in and GB's disembodied voice came on: `Tony. It's Gordon. I'm locked in the toilet'.''

FOOTNOTE: So that's how he took the throne.