Honey, You Gave Me Such A Start

That’s Not The Way I Normally Enter A Shop

A Polish pensioner sent his wife's car straight through the window of a butcher's shop when he tried to remove the ignition key. The man accidentally started up the car and caused £7,000 damage. His wife said: "I've been driving for 30 years, I've never had an accident - and now this disaster."

FOOTNOTE: Key sera, sera.

Out, Out, Damp Spot

It's Okay To Say No To Your Sat-Nav

A Polish driver steered his mini bus straight into a lake - after his sat-nav told him to. Police, fire and ambulance services rushed to the lake and found the driver and his passengers perched on the top of the vehicle's roof. Police said: "It seems that the GPS hadn't been updated and was still showing a usable road running through where the lake now is."

FOOTNOTE: Wet his appetite.

H€adlines & D€adlines

Poles Say Drunken Scots Are Too Flashy

Pointing out stories you may have missed. Calls are growing in Poland for a ban on 'men in skirts' because drunken Scottish flashers have been upsetting locals. Poland has become a major destination for UK tourists, some of whom are thought to be mainly attracted by the cheap beer. Authorities in major towns like Warsaw and Krakow say the drunken Scots have added an extra dimension. In the city of Wroclaw, officials are exploring a kilt ban after being horrified by groups of drunk Scottish men who lifted their kilts to strangers. Local police, who have born the brunt of the complaints, say a kilt ban would not be possible, but have promised to crack down on the partying Scots and make sure they keep their kilts down at all times.

News source: Ananova.