Verse And Worse

Random Wit, Errant Rhyme. Not A Literary Crime

If you bare your solar plexus
On the streets of Paris, Texas
You’ll be slapped with a fine in double-quick time
Before the town clock has had time to chime

The Wicked Witch Of The Yeast

Forget The Taste, We’ll Drink To Your Health

A "beer" that could prolong life and prevent illness has been created – but it apparently tastes awful. BioBeer has been genetically modified by students in Texas. It is brewed using a yeast called resveratrol, which is used in red wine and is thought to help prevent heart disease, diabetes and cancer.

FOOTNOTE: Hops scotched.

Verse And Worse

Random Wit, Errant Rhyme. Not A Literary Crime

He couldn’t fit into his Lexus
Due to his overeating nexus
Forsooth, his solar plexus
Must have been bigger than Texas

Mardi Grass

Must Have Been Something He Eight

A sheriff's deputy in Sherman, Texas, arrested a man accused of getting into a small private plane and doing figure-eights on the grass at Tanglewood Airstrip. Bond was set at $1500 for Robert Gene Walker. Walker told the deputy that he was driving past and noticed the plane on the runway. The deputy said Walker ``found the keys inside'' and started the plane, which eventually ended up nose-down in the grass.

FOOTNOTE: A wannabe stunt pilot? His career'll never take off.

Ohm Is Where The Heart Is

Billion-Dollar Bills - The Atmosphere’s Electric

Everything’s big in Texas. Even the bills. I hope Richard Redden didn’t suffer heart palpitations when he opened his utility bill and found a demand for $24 billion. Yep, that’s right. Billion. Thanks to a printing error, Redden and more than 1300 Weatherford utility customers this week received billion-dollar electric bills marked as late notices. According to MSNBC.com, Irving-based DataProse, which prints customer bills for Weatherford Electric, said the company was embarrassed by the error.
``Obviously, this is not something we are pleased about,’’ said Curtis Nelson, DataProse vice president and general manager. The good news is that corrections are being issued. Weatherford Electric spokeswoman Pam Pearson said customers can expect their correct bills later this month. She said the company's records were correct and showed the right amount.
``I know they raised the rates on kilowatt-hours a little bit,’’ Redden said. ``I guess we shouldn't have run the heater quite so much this month.’’The incongruity of the situation reminded me of the case – earlier this week – of Yahya Wahab, a Malaysian man who received a $218 trillion phone bill and was ordered to pay up within 10 days or face prosecution.