Mumbo Jumbo

Shall We Use This To Make Chili Gumbo?

Photographs copyright: DAVID McMAHON

Okay, some blokes are a bit slow. We all know that, right? Is this blog a debate forum? Did I hear some of you say that ALL blokes (and not just some of us) are a bit slow? Well, I've been known to be a bit backward in my time, and today was a perfect illustration of the theory.

Let me put all my cards on the table. I can cook, I can sew, I can iron, I can garden. But sometimes I get stuck in ordinary domestic situations. Picture this: I'm standing in the kitchen, in the process of making one of the Authorbloglets a Dad's Special Cheese Omelette.

The oil is heated, the eggs have been beaten to within an inch of their life, and I've judged the heat to perfection before pouring the eggs into the frying pan. The smell is so delicious that I might just have to employ an army of trusty serfs to keep the neighbours away.

Fast forward a couple of minutes. The cheese is now placed carefully in the sizzling mixture. Aroma? SEN-sational. And it'll soon be time to fold the omelette. I have the skillet with me when a little light goes on in my head. I remember that Mrs Authorblog recently bought a great turner. I take it out of the big kitchen drawer, but there's a big sticker on it.

No worries. Any human being can remove a sticker in one swift movement. But this sticker ain't comin' away. It becomes a battle of wills. I am sort of pulling it with all my strength and it's doing what stickers do best. It's sticking.

So I call for reinforcements. Mrs Authorblog materialises and peels off the sticker in one swift motion as I stand there dumbfounded at how easy and efficiently she has made a mockery of my efforts.

Things like that happen regularly in our household.

Then another little light comes on in my head. (Aside: Yes, I know that's it's impossible for men to have more than one brainwave at the same time!) The brainwave nudges me in the direction of the word "Jumbo''. Great association of ideas. I can photograph the sticker and use it for today's Camera Critters post.

I could even test the "Jumbo Turner". If I wave this sticker at a herd of elephants, will they simply turn away? Ain't that what the sticker says? Or if I take it to the airport, will it turn a Boeing 747 Jumbo around on the tarmac?

While these brilliant thoughts run through my head, I am just about to remove the Stunning Omelette Of Absolute Perfection and I call out to Mrs Authorblog to ask if she still has the sticker.

Yes, she still has the sticker.

But has Mrs Authorblog torn the sticker to shreds? Or is it intact?

God bless Mrs Authorblog. Not only is she beautiful and wise, she is also accustomed to silly questions from me.

Yes, the sticker is intact, she tells me, with a grin.

So I deliver the omelette to the waiting Authorbloglet. Then I get the camera out. And very carefully I place the sticker back on the skillet and photograph it.

This time I find I am blessed with superpowers. For after I have finished photographing it for this post, I am magically able to remove the sticker and consign it to the bin.

You know what they say. One good turner deserves another.

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