Sunday, March 29, 2009

A View To A Gill

Relax, This Is Just A Scale Model

Photographs copyright: DAVID McMAHON


Time to fess up. I’m not an angler. I’m not even an occasional fisherman. I wouldn’t know which end of a rod to use. Some years ago, while I was in England, a keen fisherman asked if I wanted to go out on his boat.

Yeah, why not. But when he said he’d be out on the water from sunrise to sunset, the enjoyment factor suddenly got very diluted. Suffice to see I spent the day looking at museums instead.

I was in my mid-twenties when I travelled halfway across the world for a good friend’s wedding. I chalked in a few things for the next few days, figuring (fairly logically) that he and his new bride would be heading off on a well-deserved honeymoon.

But no. Surprise – they were going to stay home and do things instead. The day after the wedding, the groom nudged me and whispered: "Wanna come fishing?"

No, I replied. He dug me in the ribs again. "Yes, you DO want to come fishing."

But I can be really slow sometimes. I didn’t understand. So he explained (One. Word. At. A. Time) that if I said I really, truly wanted to go fishing, his new bride would let him go to "accompany" me. "But, " he hissed, "if she knows that I’m really the one who wants to leave her the day after our wedding to go fishing, she’ll kill me. "

So I spent a couple of hours on the precipice of boredom while he fished. Then he turned to me and said: "Wanna go to the pub?"

No, I replied. He winked at me "Yes, you DO want to go to the pub."

Er, no. I wanted to go and watch the cricket instead of wasting my time watching him trying to catch fish in a billabong. I don’t drink so why would I want to go to the pub?

So I spent a couple of hours sipping iced water in the pub while he sank several beers. Late in the afternoon, I asked him how he was going to explain to The New Bride how we had spent several hours "fishing" and hadn’t caught anything other than hay fever.

But he had it all under control. On the way home, he stopped at the fishmonger’s, then presented them to The New Bride and said he’d cook them for dinner.

He's still a good friend, but I’ve never been "fishing" with him again. I have a feeling I might, er, flounder.

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47 comments:

C. Michael Cox said...

Well that's quite the image to wake up to in the morning. First image on my Google Reader this morning. I'm awake now. :)

Hilary said...

I suspect that it's good for your friendship that this guy lives halfway around the world. I've semi-recently discovered that I quite enjoy fishing. Frank is an accomplished angler (he'd have to be to write a book on the subject) and has taken me fishing several times. I'm looking forward to the chance to go again.. though I still struggle with the worm-hooking part of it all..

I like that photo. :)

Tarolino said...

Great photo. The story I really enjoyed.
Was this happening in England? I have lived there myself (married to an englishman) so I do know a bit about this fishing lark business over there - not to speak of the dear old pub culture.
But on their honeymoon. Not the most romantic of males I know, but still.
Not that I don't pursue that pastime on occaisions myself. Well at least until we got divorced.

Snap said...

Fishing brings back memories of my dad.

i beati said...

quite the guy Sandy

Sylvia K said...

That is indeed some image to wake up to, but a fun story. I agree with Hilary, probably a good thing this guy lives halfway around the world from you!

Janet said...

I would spend sunrise to sunset on a sailboat, but not fishing. I hope that man's wife doesn't read your blog. Although I suspect that if he started out that way, that marriage didn't last long!

Sandi McBride said...

This one brought back memories of Mac and his buddy Eric who went fishing every chance they got. His wife Myrna and I became suspicious of their fishing tripa when they couldn't seem to bring anything but a hangover home...more on that at a later date, lol! Glad you and he are still friends...is the she still in the picture?
Sandi

jinksy said...

Let's hope his missus doesn't read your blog...

Kendris said...

Now that's a devoted fisherman! I sincerely hope that his wife adheres to the "You catchum, you cleanum" policy!

Thanks for sharing!

Katney said...

I love how you do Camera Critters without, with bearly an exception, actually posting a photo of a real animal.

Ananda girl said...

What is a billabong? Is it a pub then? I have heard some strange definitions for this word.

Funny story! Glad I'm not his wife.

Janie said...

I wonder if that marriage didn't "flounder", too.

Rhea said...

That fish is freaky. I'm not a big fisher, but I totally understand the appeal of being out in nature, just relaxing and enjoying the moment...

imac said...

Now thats what I call a friend in-need indeed to.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Quite a fish story, David!! My family is full of fishermen...but I just write the stories :-) Have a great weekend!

Adrienne in Ohio said...

Funny story. You're a good friend. :)

Misty Dawn said...

Awww man, if his wife reads this post, he is SO busted! Kinda funny that he wanted to go fishing the day after he got 'hooked'. Good thing he 'netted' himself a good friend to help with his plan. Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Moannie said...

Good story, David. So the bride swallowed it Hook Line and Sinker. Bet you were praying no-one would use that one.

lakeviewer said...

David, this is a captivating fish story. Whatever happened on those fishing trips we'll never know, because fisherpeople like to measure their time differently

Norm said...

very interesting post I enjoy reading too. Visit my Canadian geese here and thanks.

Maggie May said...

That poor wife of one day old had my undivided sympathy & she deserves better than this man!
Hope she has him fully trained by now!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

How terrible! The lengths that some men will go to for a pint!!

CJ xx

Cath said...

That is a great image there and I am glad it is not to scale! You are a very good friend - I hope he appreciates your patience and flexibility! He owes you one at least...
(I hope his wife doesn't read your blog either...)

aims said...

I use to fish all the time David. I was totally devastated when someone stole my rod and all my tackle. It was never the same after that. A fisherperson can get really attached to their tackle!

I'm glad I never found a husband like that though. Just not my 'angle'.

Karen said...

LOL...that's a rather funny story :-)

I don't mind fishing .... the wharf was not far from where I used to live in Wellington, NZ ...it's the gutting afterwards that I don't really fancy.

We used to catch some really ugly looking barracudas ...those suckers used to really fight..

Carolina said...

Hahaha, another marriage based on trust...not!

Artist Unplugged said...

I enjoyed that story very much and like the photo...curious about the state of that dude's marriage..hopefully intact. I like to fish sometimes, but not all day long, though I have!

Pagan Sphinx said...

I know very little about fishing, except that I know I'd feel very sorry for the fish. Looking at sad, dead eyes is not my idea of fulfillment.

I do like that fish model you photographed, though. I like fish in art.

۞۞lane۞۞ said...

interesante a historia.
eu fiz meu blog por agora
então eu queria dica
de como fazer meu blog
ficar igual ao seu.
boa tarde
estava lendo suas texto é são bem legais

ChrisC and JonJ said...

That's what friends are for.....

Great post!

bARE-eYED sUN said...

this was a very cute story, we thoroughly enjoyed it and chuckled in self-recognition. :-)

thanks again for sharing,

..
.ero

stan said...

I shld get back to fishing soon.

Eddie Bluelights said...

He looks like a fish out of water!
And perhaps fin(ished)!

Manz said...

Great image... and I love the story for the week - thoroughly entertaining!!

I'm glad that your mate is not the man in my life ;)

Given the right conditions - vessel, company, location - I'd like a day out fishing. I caught a fish once - hooked it through the eye!

Zip n Tizzy said...

I'm obviously not the first to wonder – Is he still married?

skywind said...

Oh, look at First sight, I thought the world have such a big fish. LOL
Health information
Humor & Fun World

Carletta said...

A great post David - a punny beginning and a punny ending! :)
Nice shot of the 'fish.'

My Camera Critter post is here: Carletta’s Captures.

Lori ann said...

Haha,flounder.So funny,this story.It's strange, i can wait for hours for the perfect light for the perfect shot but sit and fish.NO.

introspection said...

This is a fishy post, from many angles, including the picture: not a fish and yet a fish - totally different concept. So all fishy stuff.

Here's one more, and this is honestly fishy.
I used to go fishing with cousins (6 of us), but this fishing was different. It was river fishing. We would find a hilly river bank near clear, transparent blue river waters. We would reach the spot well before sunrise, (a beautiful sight too), and sit looking down for fish from our perched up spots with loaded guns, or rifles. The big fish in the river would come gliding to the shore as if playing, and slowly pop their head out to breathe air. At this precise moment we would shoot on their head, and then a local villager would dive after the fish, and bring it out. When the prize fish was brought out by the villager, we would clean it up, and cook a delicious early morning fish meal. Ohhh. it was wonderful.

Some rivers in India are just right for this sport. The Tapti river, Narbada, and Indus.

SweetPeaSurry said...

I actually love fishing, and going to the pub. Perhaps I should have married your friend. *chuckles*

I'm not at all surprised he stopped at the fishmongers. I hope his wife doesn't read your blog. The gig would be up then!

The Quintessential Magpie said...

I love to fish, but I don't like to pub crawl. I do like pub grub, though. LOL! I like to fish with a worm and a cane pole, and I also like to deep sea fish.

David, I just hope his wife never reads this and finds out what he did. The question is, are they still married??? LOL!

Sheila :-)

French Fancy said...

If he was like that the day after the wedding what on earth is he like now? The poor woman.

Mojo said...

I really tried to come up with a fitting quip to respond with, but with Cod as my witness I could help wanting to label this fella a "bass..."

Well you know.

Babooshka said...

If it was anyone else I would say this ws a fishy tale. Definitely not into fishing.

Babooshka said...

If it was anyone else I would say this ws a fishy tale. Definitely not into fishing.

spacedlaw said...

That was rotten of him...