H Is For Holbrook

Mate, Didja See The Submarine In The Outback?

Photographs copyright: DAVID McMAHON

The women in every branch of the McMahon family have this theory about the men in the clan. Let's put this in plain and simple English - the women think all the blokes are blind. Yep. Blind. As in we can't find car keys, even when they're staring us in the face. We can't find anything. We're just candidates for seeing-eye dogs.

So some years ago, when we were driving from Melbourne to Canberra , we pulled into the bush town of Holbrook to stretch our legs.

"What'll we do here?" asked one of the male McMahons.

"For starters, we can go and check out the submarine," I suggested.

Now, you've probably figured that I have a reputation for skylarks and practical jokes. This male McMahon (younger than me) looked me square in the eye. Gave me the gimlet stare. "Submarine?" he repeated. "What submarine?"

It's not often that I get in a situation where I am about to win a verbal joust with anyone. Triumphantly, I pointed behind him. "That submarine," I said in a gloating tone, "the submarine that just about takes up the entire horizon".

This story still causes him some mild embarrassment. Yes, there is a submarine in the Outback town of Holbrook, several hundred kilometres inland and not in any way connected to a creek, river, canal or any manner of nautical passage that perchance might lead to the open sea.

At the Holbrook Hotel, which faces the Hume Highway, you can clearly see the distinctive outline of the submarine on the main sign. Along with the ads for Australian beer, along with the high shady verandahs, along with the clear blue sky and along with the surrounding gum trees, the submarine is what distinguishes this town.

The sub is the HMAS Otway, the second of six Oberon-class submarines built for the Royal Australian Navy between 1966-79. It is 90 metres (about 270 feet) long and a sign nearby explains that it was "purchased and reconstructed by the citizens of Holbrook Shire". The sign also explains that part of the finance was raised locally, while $100,000 came from Gundula Holbrook, the widow of the late Commander Norman D. Holbrook, winner of the Victoria Cross. The town, as you've probably guessed, as named after the naval hero.

Across the highway from the Holbrook Hotel is a grassy oval and parkland, where interstate travellers pull in for a break. I'd have no hesitation in recommending the Submarine Cafe, where the service is friendly, the food is good and you have the option of sitting outdoors, either on the broad timber deck or out on the grass, shaded from the sun by a variety of giant umbrellas.

A lot of Outback towns have towering grain silos or slowly revolving windmills - but as you can see from the photograph above, Holbrook certainly has a distinctive look.

This photograph (above) shows the bulging bow hull, looking towards the gum trees across the highway. But let me get back to the male McMahon who was so skeptical when I told him we would go and explore the submarine that he couldn't see.

He obviously thought I was conning him.

For the home of ABC Wednesday, got to Mrs Nesbitt's Place.